My Asinine Thoughts

I’ll be leaving my school in a few weeks… and then they print this:

Monday to Friday (except on Tuesdays when I work half-day)

08:00 wake up
08:45 leave for work (10-minute walk)
08:55 buy breakfast (smoked chicken or tan ping)
09:00 Go straight to my classroom to eat my breakfast
09:15 Start my kindergarten2 class (Bumblebee)
11:30 End of class

02:00 Polar Bear (Grade School students, Level 2)
04:00 Penguins (Grade School students, Level 1)
05:00 Go home

Saturday:
Wake up late. Watch videos all day. Fob off my chores to Joyce, who is an absolute gem.

Sunday:
Go shopping. If broke, go window shopping.

First off, I’m a whiner.

I’m back at work and not loving it. Whine whine whine. Joyce is still vacationing in Manila so I have to handle two classes by myself. I usually have a pattern for 2 hour-classes. The first part will involve singing, activities, and animated explanations. The second part will be for writing, coloring, and reading - to give all of us a break. But having to run from one class to another means I have to be insanely manic for more than 2 hours! So what makes life at work a little better?

Charis(my K1 student): Teacher!
Me: Yes?
Charis: Lyn is talking in Chinese!
Me: (looks immediately at Lyn with a frown)
Lyn: (shakes her head and goes- ooomph)

Of course they’re still talking in Chinese, we’ve only started English lessons a few months ago but it brings joy to my heart that they’ve started telling on each other. Sumbong is one of the surest ways of making the kids stick to English when conversing. So what did I do to reprimand Lyn?

Me: Do you know how to say that in English, Lyn?
Charis: She said blah blah 没有. (I only understood the 没有 part.)
Me: I know you can say that in Enlgish, Lyn. If you want to speak in Chinese you can join Teacher Maggie’s class. So will you try to speak in English?

Lyn: (with lips trembling) Yes, teacher.
Me: (hihihi)

I finally replaced Wooster the First last Wednesday so most of my vacation was spent re-organizing my mp3s. Jeff surmised that it was the previous casing’s fault so I changed it to Nexstar. Hopefully, this will last a little longer since I have more TV shows to download. We have a 2MB ADSL connection, and it usually takes me about 5 days to download a complete season. And after the hard drive fiasco, I back-up everything like crazy. I only have a CD writer installed in my computer so I think I’ve burned more than 40 cds in just a week. Jeeves seems to be complaining since after a few hours of operation now, its insides start whirring. This is bad. Very very bad.

The only solution I can think of to this problem is to buy an external DVD writer, but the Sony one I saw last week would cost me more than $150 US. I don’t think I’d want to spend again after vowing to myself that I would quit Taiwan and teaching in 2007. The alternative is to get a faster connection. After showing Jen the wonders of downloading, I was able to convince her to get a faster connection! In a few days, we will have an 8M/640K connection and for the icing on the cake, a DVD writer in a few months time because it’s part of the promo package from our ISP.

8M? Hmmm… the things I could do with that connection

I’ve been pretty busy looking for songs for my sister’s wedding. There are some obvious choices but I was sort of shooting for a less mainstream one. When I told ditsi I would try to compile songs for her, my condition was no Jim Brickman or Vonda Shepard. I should also include David Pomeranz (Born for You is for bulimics because it makes you hurl). It’s pretty difficult though since most songs I know that have wonderful melodies have really depressing lyrics, which is kinda my thing but would of course be unsuitable for a wedding. I can’t imagine David Gray’s song, “Say Hello Wave Goodbye” playing in the background for ditsi’s reception when the lyrics are like this:

But the melody is so good though, darn.

The only song I’ve got in the ‘ditsi wedding’ folder is Even When I’m Sleeping by Leonardo’s Bride. Even then I’m not too solved on the lyrics, plus its popularity might render it too familiar for the guests, but hey, I have a day job.

I especially loathe blogs that feature song lyrics. Loathe, detest, abhore! So this is an isolated thing for ditsi’s perusal. Just to let her know I’m making an effort (mwah)!

I promised I would go to the gym 5 days a week starting… next week? Well, I haven’t decided on the exact date yet but I’ve been preparing myself for some serious workout time at CF (California Fitness). I bought a cheapo mp3 player with only 256MB capacity because I discovered that it’s detrimental to my iPod’s health if I use it while on a cross-trainer. Let me put it this way, it has a tendency to fly off the clip, the horror. Anyway, so I bought a player and I’ve just about filled it to capacity with punk songs from Ash, Green Day, Franz Ferdinand and The Ramones. There are also a few angry and noisy ones from Silverchair and Skunk Anansie for variety. I’m ready to go!

p.s. Find below some of my Bumblebees who brin
g me Joy, Laughter and a Very Sore Throat. (photo courtesy of Joyce)

The challenge of ending a so-so year in a fantastic note is the challenge of stopping my kids to say so-so. No, really. I ask them if they like/hate a particular thing and they always come up with”So-so, teacher.” I have actually banned so-so in the classroom. I never thought I could hate “so-so” so much in my entire life, but there you go. I think I just wrote so-so 5x, make that 6x.

—————————–

The 23rd of December 2005

Had to work all day today and boss was not even around to celebrate Christmas like we did last year. No games, no candies, no Santa Claus. Bummer. Looks like I will have to pull out all the stops this year with my kids.

I started off the morning by giving my kiddies candy canes and gifts. The gifts were just cheap stuff but combined with my hohoho’s and Santa hat, I did alright. We sang a few carols and made Christmas cards for their folks so I think they got into the Christmas spirit eventually.

My afternoon classes were also treated to some hoilday cheer since I gave them gifts and candies as well. We’ve been practicing ‘Twelve Days of Christmas’ for a few days now and they’re really raring to show their stuff. I made them sing in front of a couple of classes so that our practicing and going out of breath would not have been in vain.

To wrap up my class, I told them the Christmas Carol story. I can’t believe they’ve never heard of Scrooge even in Chinese.

—————————–

The 24th of December 2005

07:00 am
Woke up from deep slumber. Rats! Work!

08:15
Got on the Gong Si-Bei Men bus to go to my other school in Taishan City.

08:30
Went to McDo to buy breakfast.

09:00
Started my first class with a bunch of sleepyheads I call my high school students. The impish Small Mike was naughty as usual. I tried explaining inference to the best of my abilities. I should be getting better pay for this shite.

10:00
Next class was with a bunch of kids whom I have to review 15 Chapters with… in 50 minutes! We played bowling with me asking questions on the sly. It’s a tough life but someone’s gotta do it.

11:00
My second high school class. This time I was trying to make them understand humor in writing. I try and I try and in the end, I spoon feed them with answers. Lousy educator.

12:30
On my way to Blockbuster to rent Christmas-themed movies. Gah! Seems like everyone had the same idea. Most of the good stuff were gone and I couldn’t rent a damned thing.

Did last minute shopping.

14:30
Lunch then nap.

15:30
Woke up to buy food. My roomies and I decided to celebrate noche buena by cooking/buying one meal each. I planned on feeding them with Ma Po Tofu which I will personally cook. I called my mom first early on to ask for directions and I hoped to God I get it all right since I have no intention of poisoning anybody despite my pronouncements.

Called Juliet to ask what wonder powder and leeks look like but phone couldn’t be reached. I’ll just have to do without I guess.

16:20
Got home armed with minced pork (I spent 10 minutes deciding what minced pork looked like. Since there was no one I could ask, bahala na), onion, shrimp, and tofu. I hope the dish turns out alright without the other ingredients I couldn’t find.

16:30
I hate chopping onions! Sniff.

17:00
After chopping onions, garlic, and shrimp I was ready to start cooking. This was my first time ever to really cook real food. Frying canned goods does not count.

17:25
Hey! My Ma Po Tofu looks a lot like mom’s! I hope it tastes the same as well.

17:30
Juliet’s home. Now it’s her turn to work her magic in the kitchen. I hie off to the living room to rest. Cooking is exhausting work.

21:00
Gina and Jennifer get home bearing take-outs. Smells good! Oh noche buena is going to be a feast!

22:30
Can’t wait anymore. Dinner must be had.

02:05
Played scrabble for more than an hour. Then feeling of empacho started setting in, we went off to bed.

—————————–

The 25th of December 2005

Celebrated at Auntie Lolit’s place where we had spaghetti, bbq and fish. How’s that for combination? I slummed at Jeff’s room because it’s like a big entertainment center what with his gadgets and all!

Called ahiya to greet him and Aileen a Merry Christmas. Labyuguysmuah!

Got a phone call from atsi late afternoon to greet me a Merry Christmas. A shout out to atsi-pooh who has probably never visited, hmphf! Labyumuah!

Got a phone call at around 7:30pm from ditch to tell me that she’s… engaged!!! Yipee! I told her that bridesmaids are never fat so I’m going to start dieting on January 1, 2006. She said I had 10 to 12 months so by God! I’ll start dragging Jeff to California Fitness so that I’ll have company in my treadmill misery. Labyuditsimuah!

Red is the color of anger…

I so felt like quitting work today. The boss was alright, the co-teachers were alright, most of my students were alright… I said most. I think I’ve complained enough today about this certain fly-in-my-ointment, bane of my morning existence, wrinkle-inducing, vein-popping, demon seed named Chloe, so I won’t complain anymore. But I just want to say how much I hate this kid, really. I can take mischievous kids, naughty kids, tuliro kids, ADD kids, but iyakins? Oh my tinapay! I want to kill her! If I ask her if she’s ok, she cries. I tell her to stand up, she cries. I tell her to pay attention, she cries. She wants to go to the bathroom, she cries. I talk to her nicely, she cries. I get angry, she cries. I tell her to do something, she refuses, cries and says: “我想要回去! Huhuhuhu! 我想要回去! Huhuhuhu! 我想要回去! Huhuhuhu! 我想要回去! Huhuhuhu!”

My answer? An emphatic NO!
Foocha! I’m never having kids!
Well, I complained again anyways.

Red is the color of Doritos Nacho Cheesier…

Another Foocha! I was so foochafied I had to munch on something saltilicious, yummylicious and fattylicious! Ergo the junk food. Of course I’m blaming this all on Chloe-the-Menace.

Red is the color you get from a copier’s screen that is not working properly…

I photocopied a lot of exercises for my students today to last me for a couple of weeks. But I was foochafied yet again by the copier’s need to eat the paper every 3 pages. What should only have been a 15-minute task turned to 40 minutes of hellish work. Again I blame this on Chloe-the-Imp. My negative energy must have had an effect on the copier that it started malfunctioning more than usual.

Red is the color of my eyes…

From lack of sleep for the past few days and for spending countless hours in front of my computer reading blogs of people I don’t know and researching Bangkok.

Red is the color of my Iced Tea…

Which I will drink before I go to bed.

First Graduation Program:

It’s been almost a year since I started teaching my little kiddies at Julia Kid’s and now, most of them are graduating and will move on to Grade 1. There is a mixture of sadness and anticipation for what’s going to happen next. I will miss them for sure but I will still teach them in the afternoons, so the separation (on my part) won’t be too difficult. Um yeah, you read that right. Now that my mornings are free, I’ve been given a new class by my boss, this time teaching absolute newbies! I’m a little scared truth be told. When I started teaching my kindergartners last year, their English was pretty good already. Now I have to start from zero which is both challenging and exciting. Joyce, another teacher from my school has been giving me tips - I hope I don’t mess up.

Anyway, last Friday was the last day of school and the day of the graduation program. The whole morning was spent practicing singing, speaking, dancing, and playing drums. My kids were in no less than 6 presentations and if it weren’t for their fortitude and excellent memory, it would’ve been a disaster. The afternoon was spent partying until one by one they were picked up by their parents. We would all meet up later that night at the auditorium in WuGu.

After several hours and lots of costume changes later, I was on my way home at around 10pm. I may not see myself as a teacher forever but I’m having a pretty good time now. Teaching kids is a lot of fun and I’m excessively kenkoy so it’s a good fit. I never really liked children before, I thought they were messy and bratty, well they are messy and bratty but they can also be extremely loveable. Even the not-so-cute ones.

Harry Potter and a not so Fantastic Four:

I paid for my Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in advance last May and nothing could’ve kept me away from the bookstore Saturday morning except work. Unfortunately I work on Saturdays and now have 6 hours of teaching time. By the time I was done, it was already 4pm. I had to get a quick bite to eat(4:50), commute all the way to Taipei City (5:25), walk several blocks until… yes! Kinokuniya Bookstore at Breeze (5:40pm). I gave the saleslady my receipt and order form and she handed me the paper bag containing my book plus a huge poster. At first I was feeling too euphoric to notice the book but I later realized that it was not the U.S. version I’ve been collecting but the British one (grrr). I thought of exchanging it but I saw that it was a first edition…hmm esep-esep.

After reading John Dunning’s Booked to Die, I realized that there is a huge and profitable market for first editions. I think I’m going to keep this one and see if the price appreciates. I’ve already used it though (and will use it again for the required second, third and fourth reading) but I’ll be very careful not to spill anything on it or crack the spine. Walking merrily through the aisles, I saw the combined screenplay of Before Sunrise and Before Sunset! I remember a long time ago (when I was around 17) how Before Sunrise affected me. It was such a unique and smart movie. Now I will be able to read the lines uttered by Jesse and Celine without the distraction of Ethan Hawke’s immense cuteness. I grabbed it right away despite my rapidly depleting funds and decided to head straight to the counter before further damage was done. But on my way… I saw Elizabeth Kostova’s The Historian. Ayiiiieeeee!

I bought The Historian.

I had every intention of going straight home and start reading but I thought I’d check the moviehouse and see what’s currently showing. I was planning on watching Batman Begins but was disappointed to find out that it was not showing anymore. Fantastic Four was showing in half an hour though so I thought, hey why not? Ioan Gruffudd is fine.

Well if it weren’t for the good-looking cast members I would’ve been really pissed off with myself for watching such a crappy film. The effects were alright especially whenever Johnny turns into a fireball - hot in more ways than one. But the script! The terrible lines and the plot holes! There was no sense of time whatsoever. The editing of this film was butchered I tell you. It seems like they filmed a hodge podge of “cool” scenes and put them together. Yes, there were some cool scenes but for a moviegoer such as myself who takes her movies seriously, it was annoying.

The cast as I mentioned above were really easy on the eyes. There’s Ioan Gruffudd (pronounced Yo-an Griffith), Chris Evans, Julian McMahon and Jessica Alba. I also liked Michael Chiklis, bald head and all - he looks solid and huggable plus I thought he was the best actor in the bunch which is not saying much. They all looked good in their costumes although Julian would’ve looked better without the mask, the coat, the shirt and the pants hihihi.

As soon as the movie finished I ran straight to the MRT. The Harry Potter book was burning a hole through the paper bag.

Harry Potter marathon:

Most of Saturday night and Sunday were spent reading. I finished Sunday afternoon. I put the book down, went slightly catatonic and started to cry. It has always been said whenever JK releases a new one that it’s darker than the previous book. Well, I must say that the HBP is darker than OotP. Way darker. The HBP book was fantastic but it does not have as many pages as OotP. Several scenes could’ve been longer though or more explored. It’s either JK lost steam or she didn’t find them important enough. I wish books could have an extended special edition like DVDs. Sigh. I think I’m going to wait a couple of weeks before writing down what my thoughts are regarding the penultimate book in the series. There is the matter of the second, third and fourth reading to get over with first.

It’s been weeks since I last posted which means I’ve been an incredibly busy girl. I am really!

What with my work load, gym cramming, and chores - I barely have enough time to come up for air. This is such an unusual experience for me since I’ve always been more of a slacker than a worker, but there you go. It can be kind of frustrating though, not getting to do all the things you want to do. I can be a bit of an o.c. so I’m not going to feel at ease until I’ve made a dent on my to-do list. If you could only see my to-do list, you will really pity me. Wait a second, you can see my to-do list!

Work-related
1. Finish reading ‘Training course for TEFL‘ and ‘Techniques and Resources in Teaching Reading.’ Books cost too much to be used only as display.
2. Research more on EFL over the internet.
3. Finish lesson plans for high school classes. Prepare materials for reading and listening classes.
4. Prepare final syllabus for kindergarten classes. Read ‘The Witches’ for story time.
5. Transcribe Miffy DVDs.

Chores et al:
1. Do laundry. Shame on me for using months-old comforters and blankets.
2. Re-arrange room to maximize space. Keep tripping over shoes etc.
3. Go to the bank to change NT dollars before I go home next month.
4. Finish buying pasalubongs. Go to Shulin nightmarket for Mum’s biscuits, Shilin for Rosey’s cheesecake and the Elite girls’ earrings, Ximending for Ditsi’s figurines, Blockbuster for syoti’s Korean dvds, Carrefour for Elaine’s cds, Mum’s rice cooker, and Ahiya’s Kung Fu Hustle dvd.
5. Go to Breeze to stock up on hamburger chocolate biscuits, yummy!

Personal:
1. Continue studying ‘A Practical Chinese Grammar’ book by myself.
2. Re-organize and re-classify notebooks (inventory, lists, visits, computations, plans, expenditure, writings - umm, I have aLOT of notebooks!)
3. Finish reading Terry Pratchett’s The Color of Magic so that I can move on to Monstrous Regiment. Might be able to do this while doing my laundry. Also check out John Dunning, Kurt Vonnegut, Evelyn Waugh, and Roddy Doyle books. So excited about getting to know the works of these authors!
4. Finish bookbug essay .
5. Prepare writings for future personal website. (I recently bought a domain name, yipee!!!)
6. Read up on html, adobe photoshop, and frontpage to design first ever website.

Alas! All this plus writing emails, surfing, and shopping. How oh how?

The challenge of the blank page is the challenge of starting anew.

————————
The Michelle Sy Diary. Doesn’t have the same ring to it as “The Adrian Mole Diaries,” “The Diary of Anne Frank,” or “Bridget Jones’s Diary” but what the hey!

The 24th of December 2004

12:30am
Finished my laundry.

2:15am
Slept late due to incessant fiddling with new laptop.

7:05am
First wake-up call; woke up amidst the beeping noise of alarm clock (honestly one of the most hideous but invaluable inventions of our time).

7:15am
Woke up again after hitting the snooze button the first time around.

7:20am
Actually got out of bed after much deliberation:
call in sick? everyone’s sick, that’s no excuse.
pretend to be dying? quite true, but no one will believe me.
just deadma? deadma also the paycheck.
go to work late? bad work ethic which will take a lifetime to undo.
face the music? is there no other choice?

7:20:30am
Stupid conscience.

7:40am
Finished washing up.

7:50am
Got dressed.

8:00am
Did last minute preparation of lesson plan since forgot to do so last night as was too engrossed with new baby - which shall hereby be referred to as ‘Jeeves.’ This in honor of great and prolific P.G. Wodehouse who had amused me to no end this month.

8:15am
Ran around the apartment to make sure nothing was forgotten. Santa Claus hat, check. Magic wands, check. Flashcards, check. Christmas cards, check. English book, check. Jeeves, check. Money, check. Oops! Shoes, check.

8:25am
Bought a sandwich and proceeded to the bus stop. Where’s the stupid 235? Or even the 802?

9:05am
Got to school with 10 minutes to spare. Apparently, dilly-dallying in bed earlier this morning had no adverse effect.

9:15am
Started class with rousing rendition of B-I-N-G-O with matching clap-clap, stomp-stomp and woof-woof for sound effects.

9:25am
Halfway through Jingle Bells. Been practicing this song since last week, oh God please let it end.

9:30am
Told the kids to drink up, I was croaking - agua! agua!

9:31am
Asked everyone to read “Little Red Riding Hood.” Enunciate! It’s cape, not kep! It’s wore, not whore!

9:50am
Had 10 minutes left before Christmas party… what to do? What to do? Ah! Told a story I made up on the spot called “Santa Claus and the boy named Eric.” There was a naughty boy in my class with that name so this story made him pay attention for like, 5 seconds.

10:05am
Got ready to watch Santa (white minister from boss’s church in black socks and blue slippers) entertain the kiddies with his ho-ho-hos and agility despite the encumbrance that is the huge ball appended to his midsection.

11:15am
Settled the kids down with a bit of Q&A and role-play. Did you like Santa? What gifts would you like him to give you? Do you even get gifts? Who can do Santa? Who can say ho-ho-ho the loudest?

11:30am
Lunch!

12:00pm
Tutored the boss. Already halfway through Harry Potter 5. How to explain ‘that puts me in my place?’

3:30pm
Class dismissed!

4:30pm
Wrapping gifts in apartment. Keeping it close = procrastinator.

5:00pm
On the way to Auntie’s place.

5:45pm
Gaaah! Heavy traffic driving me insane!

6:10pm
Finally! A 20-minute bus ride turned into more than an hour. Honestly.

6:30pm
Found out Christmas party has been postponed. Most of the people have work the next day, the 25th. Consolation was found in a bucket of KFC.

7:30pm
Bought Christmas gifts online. Amazon is Santa Claus this year. Can’t wait to get hands on new DVDs. Seems like hints to family memebers did not work so must buy gifts myself. Repercussions with regards to the budget will be dealt with at a late
r date.

9:00pm
Ditsi called to say Merry Christmas, gifts were discussed.
Mummy: A coupon stating that the bearer of which is entitled to a free trip anywhere in Asia valid for 6 months. Ditsi’s got style. She came up with the idea, the rest of us will just send money.
Pops: ……… Shoes? Wallet? I.O.U. on this one. Always get stumped with papa.
Syoti: mp3 player, rubber shoes, Bora trip. Hmm… my lack of presence in the country certainly turned to this boy’s advantage.

9:15pm
Talked to the folks. Both worried about my cold and ever worsening cough. Yaaaaahhhh-Choooo!

12:00mn
It’s Christmas! Was able to survive first Christmas eve on my own.

—————————–

The 25th of December 2004

12:01am
Surfing.

4:00am
Gave in to droopy eyes.

8:00am
Started organizing folders in Outlook. Emails in an absolute mess.

11:00am
Talked to best friend Cheryl who is also spending Christmas by her lonesome in Hongkong. Was informed of her being given a Chinese name courtesy of the laundry woman. Congratulations!

11:30am
Doritos for lunch.

2:00pm
Took a nap.

5:00pm
On the way to Auntie’s for Christmas party.

8:00pm
Called my mummy and popsy. All of them on their way home from annual Christmas party at Tita Inday’s. Felt a pang.

8:50pm
Christmas feast was yum yum yum. All the basic food groups needed by the body: spaghetti, chicken and coke.

9:30pm
Elected to watch FPJ’s necrological service on ABS-CBN website due to popular demand. Was surrounded by middle-aged, diehard fans. Resistance was futile. Everyone trooped into auntie’s room to mourn Da King.

10:00pm
Gave in and cried during Erap speech and Eddie speech. I am and will always be Pinoy at heart. How else can you explain it?

11:58pm
Ahiya and Atsi still haven’t called to greet me a Merry Christmas. Tampo! Will guilt-trip them into buying me gifts.

11:59pm
Merry Christmas! Woink! Woink! Woink!